My Haal-e-dil

First Film. First Love. First Blog. A common thread…a special feeling, a need to be accepted and dreams unlimited…

I have been a film going audience (‘aam-junta’) for the better part of my life and now to be on the other side of the spectrum is a feeling, which I haven’t been able to come to terms with yet. Perhaps, I still look at films as an audience. I believe, somewhere this has played a major role in helping me choose the film I am starting out with - Haal-e-dil aka (h-e-d)

A lot of people have asked me, how tough has it been to make a breakthrough when ‘star’ kids are the order of the day or you are the ‘Outsider’. Do you have any connection with Bollywood? To which, I have one reply, “My only connection to Bollywood has been that I love watching our films…” J And to be honest, in my mind I’ve never considered myself as an outsider. I feel I belong here.

My love with cinema started way before I realised I wanted to act. I recall watching Madhuri doing her finger move in ‘Tu shayar hai’ (Sajjan) with great astonishment and then I remember how I tried to imitate the move. Most male actors look upto a Bachchan or SRK or Aamir when it comes to their inspiration. In retrospect, it’s strange that Madhuri Dixit made me want to be a part of films. I hoped that I could dance as well, emote as well and have that charisma to be on screen with her.

In many ways, I feel more than me choosing to play 'Shekhar' in Haal-e-dil, the role chose me. I recall being auditioned for the main lead of h-e-d, during Diwali of 2006. An audition, which lasted over 4 hours! It was a full-blown audition in the presence of my director, writer and producer. Three months and 3000 auditions later, I was signed on to h-e-d in January ‘07. The best birthday gift I could have asked for!

What soon followed was 2 months of extensive workshops with Mr Om Katare, where Amita and I read various Hindi plays, improvised scenes, watched old films and plays. In my quest to play Shekhar in the best possible way, I took up guitar lessons and slowed down on heavy weights at the gym too at the insistence of my director Anil Devgan. He wanted my face and body language to have a certain rawness and innocence to it. But with the shooting done, I am back at the gym now though... :-)

I recollect starting h-e-d with its mahurat on the 27th of March 2007 in the presence of Kajol, Raj Kumar Santoshi, Vishal Bharadwaj and likes. It was a huge day for me, considering my dream was finally turning into reality. To my surprise, I was calm and felt at ease with the task at hand. It felt like just another day at work. I carried that comforting feeling with me during the rest of our schedules and it turned out just as easy as we had visualised it.

A year in the making and 6 schedules later (Bombay, Panchgani, Leh, Shimla, Manali, Kalka, and Switzerland) we were through with the filming of h-e-d. It felt like having lived another lifetime literally.

As the release date draws closer, June 20th, I find myself engulfed by a funny feeling, and no, I don’t feel much nervousness, although it is something I only tend to remember because I am made to do so by people around me. Yes, there is a certain element of excitement and of course, a sense of anxiousness. Anxiousness more so to know how people would accept the final product…Anxiousness to know if they would identify with the story as much as we did…And an ever growing anxiousness to know how anxious are they to watch h-e-d.

Finally, I want you all to know that this is my first step towards sharing my dreams and hopes with all of you and I honestly pray and wish and also assure you that this is just the beginning to a beautiful journey that lies ahead of us…

My debut film, ‘Haal-e-dil’ is all set to hit screens on June 20th 2008.

( My blog is now on bollywoodhungama.com)
http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/blogs/nakuulmehta/index.html