Sunday, December 23, 2007

Farewell my friend!

“Hey nakuul. Felt really good to hear from u yaar. The battle is still ensuing in its full rage buddy but d spirit remains untouched. After all for a soldier there is no fight to d end because…There is no end to d fight. But triumph I shall no matter what it takes.” (04/10/06)

There are some bonds which cannot be explained. This is one such…

I met him three years ago and was instantly taken in with his warmth and passion for life. My first memory of him was when I fired him for not bending low enough to take that correct shot while handling the camera and asked him the reason for that. All he said was, ‘I can’t…cant,’ with an expression on his face that was a mix of pain, despair and embarrassment.

Me, being the unrelenting me, prodded him further, only to find out that this normal looking twenty year old had suffered cancer and had recently recovered and won a battle which could have cost him his leg. That was the reason he could not bend his knees and he explained this to me in a very matter-of-fact manner. I thought I did pretty well to hide my shock and disbelief at that moment but could not help but feel small for being so insensitive.

On hindsight, I feel that moment brought the two of us together in a strange way. We got talking and realised our common passion for bodybuilding, movies and books. After the shoot he sent me a copy of our music video and promised to be in touch. I remember him being very hopeful for me and wished me a great future with my acting career. It could have ended there, but he kept in touch, every once in a while, calling/texting to give his feedback on a new commercial or a video and hoping to hear about any movies on the anvil.

There are some people you just want to stay in touch with for absolutely no reason. He was one of them. I remember meeting him not more than six times in these three years, the last being when he boarded his flight to leave for New York.

The enemy had resurfaced. He called me one day and usually chatted up about ‘me’, which he always did. It was always, ‘you’ for him. In the conversation, very nonchalantly he told me about a sudden change in plans. The cancer was back and this time it had attacked the entire body. He had a battle on hands. A battle which he would fight to win! How does one respond to something like that?

We kept in touch while he battled with clinical trials in New York and I started work on my first feature. He called every once in a while to check on my progress when it should have really been the other way around. He never once mentioned the immense pain which was killing him. But that is what makes him, what he was…Optimist to the core! A fighter! A soldier! That’s what I called him always!

Our last conversation will stay with me forever. We spoke about life, rebirth and karma. Maybe he knew it was our last conversation… A week later, came the grim news. An inconsolable common friend called saying, ‘We’ve lost him. Please come see him one last time.’ Once again, I did not know how to react.

I went to see him one last time at his place. Amongst the inconsolable and extremely emotional family and friends, he lay there in the midst, looking calm, at peace and victorious. We had lost him. But he had won…

(The quote at the beginning of the piece, is an sms, he had sent me which will stay with me forever. For all the lives you’ve touched… God bless you Rajiv!)