Monday, June 11, 2007

Ramblings of an abstract mind...

I remember reading this not too long ago, 'where you'l be five years from now will depend on two things... The people you associate with and the books you read'.
Infact I have a corrollary to that. The people you 'associate with', will to a big extent be determined by the kind of books you like/patronise, because books give you thoughts/ideas/dreams, thoughts/ideas/dreams make us cultivate habits and habits become the choices we make as people and that in turn affects our decision of welcoming people in our lives.
In the alternative, the people we associate with influence us in our choices, thoughts and our growth, which in turn determines the books we read. Get it!
I have always wondered, how do you classify people you meet in your life. Its very easy to be generic and call them 'friends' but is that really what they are.
I believe you meet tons of people in day to day life.
  • Some faces stay with you and you might just acknowledge them with a smile or a tilt of the head.
  • Some faces you recall but cannot place them, so you let them pass (but they ring a bell in your head, maynot be strong enough)
  • Some faces which for no strong reason you do not particularly like and choose to ignore. (But even in that ignornace is the awareness of their existance)
  • Some faces which you end up exchanging pleasantries with and it continues but with no real motivation or inclination of getting to know them better.
  • Some faces you strike a conversation with and realise that they are potentially people you would like to be in touch with. May or maynot materialise.
  • Some faces who you want to be in touch with but may not reciprocate and hence, you loose a potential friend.
  • Some faces who just come by in your life and grow on you, leading to friendship.
  • Some faces, which the moment you see you know that there is a vibe/connect and you go on to be great friends.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, lot many permutations & combinations are possible. But coming back to the core of the issue. How does one decide on who really is a 'friend'?

Friends are people you need to invest time, energy and emotions on. Three very rare and draining resources. Everyone in their heads have a sort of a flowchart or graphic illustration or so I think, about their relations with people.

I operate in a circular fashion. Wherein there is Core, the Auxillary and the Perepherial circle. Its more of a mental note and basically helps you put your priorities in perspective. Its extremely important to know who your CORE is... Though the 'CORE' and 'AUXILLARY' have a semi permiable membrane wherein there is not a major difference and both really could be classified as 'friends', yet very few people form the 'core'.

Perepherial are the people who do not feature in the Core or the Auxillary but are people who form a part of your outer circle, yet are connected to you at some level. So are they friends? Again, some of them could be 'potential' friends or people you are friendly with but majority is what you call 'acquaintances'. Now acquaintances is not really a poor cousin of being a friend but it really is not a 'Friend'.

But what the hell, you would only be richer by acquiring people in either of the three circles.

As a great man once said, 'There is nothing in this world more valuable than friendship. Those who banish it from their lives remove as it were the sun from the earth, because of all of nature's gifts, its is the most beautiful and most pleasing.'

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Interesting read especially cos i had just finished reading another article on mateship - heres a question for you...

-are friendships forced onto us by proximity, circumstances, jobs and hobbies?

A quote which stood out in the article - And if like me, you're lagging way behind the recommended 18 friends we're supposed to have because we're simply "too busy", perhaps we should take a cue from the great Martin Luther King, Jr, who said:

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

RandomlyIntentional said...

Thanks 'me'.

To your question. I would'nt agree on the word, 'forced'. I do not think friendship can be forced through proximity, circumstances, jobs/hobbies though these factors for sure can lead to a healthy friendship.

Its only normal for one to look for friendship in the above cases but just being in same job or similar situation may not really lead to what you can call a 'friendship'.

Would like to read that article you've quoted from, pass me the url. Btw who is 'me'?

Anonymous said...

haha - do you know more than one person who signs off as me? And here i thought this was unique!!

The url is -
http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/asksam/archives/2007/06/whats_happened_to_mateship.html

I reckon using "forced" doesnt mean that you necessarily have to make a friend out of someone who fits in one of the factors mentioned. Maybe the word "limited" would serve better cos it is true that we are in most cases limited to these factors when it comes to making friends.

Read moi blogs too - theres 3 articles under the my blog link.

RandomlyIntentional said...

nemo..its you..haha...should hv figured no one else reads this blog. ;-)