My Haal-e-dil

First Film. First Love. First Blog. A common thread…a special feeling, a need to be accepted and dreams unlimited…

I have been a film going audience (‘aam-junta’) for the better part of my life and now to be on the other side of the spectrum is a feeling, which I haven’t been able to come to terms with yet. Perhaps, I still look at films as an audience. I believe, somewhere this has played a major role in helping me choose the film I am starting out with - Haal-e-dil aka (h-e-d)

A lot of people have asked me, how tough has it been to make a breakthrough when ‘star’ kids are the order of the day or you are the ‘Outsider’. Do you have any connection with Bollywood? To which, I have one reply, “My only connection to Bollywood has been that I love watching our films…” J And to be honest, in my mind I’ve never considered myself as an outsider. I feel I belong here.

My love with cinema started way before I realised I wanted to act. I recall watching Madhuri doing her finger move in ‘Tu shayar hai’ (Sajjan) with great astonishment and then I remember how I tried to imitate the move. Most male actors look upto a Bachchan or SRK or Aamir when it comes to their inspiration. In retrospect, it’s strange that Madhuri Dixit made me want to be a part of films. I hoped that I could dance as well, emote as well and have that charisma to be on screen with her.

In many ways, I feel more than me choosing to play 'Shekhar' in Haal-e-dil, the role chose me. I recall being auditioned for the main lead of h-e-d, during Diwali of 2006. An audition, which lasted over 4 hours! It was a full-blown audition in the presence of my director, writer and producer. Three months and 3000 auditions later, I was signed on to h-e-d in January ‘07. The best birthday gift I could have asked for!

What soon followed was 2 months of extensive workshops with Mr Om Katare, where Amita and I read various Hindi plays, improvised scenes, watched old films and plays. In my quest to play Shekhar in the best possible way, I took up guitar lessons and slowed down on heavy weights at the gym too at the insistence of my director Anil Devgan. He wanted my face and body language to have a certain rawness and innocence to it. But with the shooting done, I am back at the gym now though... :-)

I recollect starting h-e-d with its mahurat on the 27th of March 2007 in the presence of Kajol, Raj Kumar Santoshi, Vishal Bharadwaj and likes. It was a huge day for me, considering my dream was finally turning into reality. To my surprise, I was calm and felt at ease with the task at hand. It felt like just another day at work. I carried that comforting feeling with me during the rest of our schedules and it turned out just as easy as we had visualised it.

A year in the making and 6 schedules later (Bombay, Panchgani, Leh, Shimla, Manali, Kalka, and Switzerland) we were through with the filming of h-e-d. It felt like having lived another lifetime literally.

As the release date draws closer, June 20th, I find myself engulfed by a funny feeling, and no, I don’t feel much nervousness, although it is something I only tend to remember because I am made to do so by people around me. Yes, there is a certain element of excitement and of course, a sense of anxiousness. Anxiousness more so to know how people would accept the final product…Anxiousness to know if they would identify with the story as much as we did…And an ever growing anxiousness to know how anxious are they to watch h-e-d.

Finally, I want you all to know that this is my first step towards sharing my dreams and hopes with all of you and I honestly pray and wish and also assure you that this is just the beginning to a beautiful journey that lies ahead of us…

My debut film, ‘Haal-e-dil’ is all set to hit screens on June 20th 2008.

( My blog is now on bollywoodhungama.com)
http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/blogs/nakuulmehta/index.html

2 Weeks to go...

It’s been exactly one whole year from the day I gave my first shot for h-e-d. Time flies, memories linger on...

It's been a rollercoaster ride with each day bringing new situations and experiences. Each schedule bringing with it a new vibe, new locations, new people and with it a sense of discovering a new part of me. It will not be sacrilegious of me to believe that I have been absolutely honest and sincere to my work and lived every moment on h-e-d to the fullest and that is a special feeling!

I vividly remember my first shot which comes in the early part of the movie. It felt like a continuation of something I’ve been doing. At complete ease, in character and with the right amount of energy, that I surprised myself. At the end of the day, I only hoped and prayed that I could replicate the same feeling each day I came to the set. I think I achieved it on more occasions than less.

When I look back at the different schedules on h-e-d – Kamalistan/panchgani, Leh/shimla/manali/kalka, Switzerland, Mahabaleshwar and the climax at Yashraj studios, I somehow recall my first at Kamlistan on the train set and at panchgani with great enthusiasm. These were times, when energy was at its best, when there was an effort to imbibe and learn everything and anything as each day brought new learning’s and as an actor, I enjoyed the natural earnestness and rawness which I subconsciously brought along and which eventually helped me in shaping Shekhar.

I only wish that I could continue bringing the same enthusiasm and zeal to every other movie I work in hereon because that is what makes the journey worthwhile. The journey is almost about to end now on this one and it’s about time to bring out the work in progress. The first teasers hit screens worldwide on the 11th of April’2008 with ‘You me aur Hum’ and I have no idea how that feeling will be… One year in the making, a year and 3 months since I signed on to it, a year and a half since I first auditioned for it and 24 years since I wanted it so bad.

Nasrun minallahi wal fatahun kareem

Climaxed!!!

Leh...Manali...Shimla...Switzerland...Mahabaleshwar...Yashraj studios...Finally its over...

Meri Shayari -1

Dil ka haal mat poocho yaro
Yeh ek khuli kitaab hai
Darde dil phir bhi jee lete hum
Lekin haal-e-dil kaisen bayaan kar pate…

Leh,mumbai,manali,kalka,shimla...Back

That's a lot of travelling in a month, which is one of the perks of my job. Don't I completely love it... 3 weeks in Leh has been the most amazing time i've spent close to nature and to think of it I am a complete city person.

The first thing which struck me about Leh was its abundant natural beauty. Imagine watching snow clad mountains covered in fog from your bathroom window while having a shower every morning or driving to bazgo village everyday (my set) through a narrow road in between the huge mountains or through the Indus and Zanskar river beds or passing the huge army cantonment at nimoo village which looked straight out of a war movie. It is unreal!

The next thing which comes as a great suprise is the local people. They are by far the sweetest and most helpful people i've met in a long time. So untouched by commercialism and so very naive for their own good. Michael, Jimmy, Anees, Saleem, the entire staff at Rafica, the monks at Spituk, the people at the bazaar,the kids at bazgo, the old man at the army store.

But most importantly, Leh will be a place where I shot nearly the entire 2 half of h-e-d. A time when i got closer to my unit, learnt a great deal, worked with some good techicians (Raju Khan, Rajiv), did some good work and had a very smooth and good working equation with everyone on set.

Coming back to Mumbai for a couple of days was probably not the greatest idea as I fell terriblly sick and carried that to Manali, Kalka and Shimla. Shot only for half a day at the Kalka station and all I rememeber of Manali and Shimla is the time i spent sleeping in my hotel and maybe the one odd time i got out to visit the Mal road or catch 'Partner' at Ravoli in Shimla. Shimla i found to be the most commercial and unplanned hill station. It has hotels all around and is quite ugly. Maybe we were destined not to climax there (shoot our climax scene) and that is something we have carried forth from our long sched.

Its been couple of days that i've been back and gosh, I feel I deserve a vacation already. Till we climax!

Ladakh Calling

Its my second day in Leh. God! This place is beautiful! Landed at the Leh airport on the 21st morning at 7 am and gosh I woke up just before landing to witness what easily is a nature at its best. The airstrip is surrounded by beautiful mountains, someof which are snowclad. I hav'nt been to a place with temperatures below 10 degress in some time now and it felt good.

The airport though is quite a small tin shed, slightly bigger than the airport at Port Blair (of what i remember since my time in A&N islands in '92). Got to Hotel Rafica, that's where I am put up by 7:30 ish and instantly i felt slight breathlessness which I was prepared for. Though headache is not something I anticipated. Its the second day, yet this uneasiness and heaviness of the head has not left me. The first day was spent entirely in my room, slept a lot, saw a bit of 'Pursuit' (I can watch this movie again and again). Ate light and drank tons of water. It's a must to survive your days in Ladakh with comfort.

Today, I finally got out of my hotel, went to the local market, did some shopping, people are sweet and speak good hindi. Met a man named Michael, who happens to be my taxi driver and guide on demand (his demand) ;-). He is amazing. Pretty much knows everyone around, got me into the Leh Palace after its closing hours and shared great anecdotes. I like him already. Have shot some great footage. Looking forward to viewing it when back.

Shopping is not bad actually. A lot of Thai-bangkok stuff and some tibetian jewllery which is quite fascinating.
Can't wait to get on floors. Looking to start shooting by the 25th, that is 3 more day. I think we are headed for something special, can just feel it! Looking forward to a memorable shoot which will make Leh all the more special...

JULLEY! (Namaste in Ladakhi)

1st sched.. It's a wrap...

30th April'07 is a day I'll remember as the the day I wrapped up my first schedule, which also means that the work i've done in the past month has been saved and printed and I c'nt go back and change anything, which can be a scary thought.

It has been a 21 day sched spanning the entire month of april, starting with the muharat on the 27th of March'07.

How do I feel... exicted/dissapointed/satisfied/.. Its tough to put an exact feeling to the entire experience. When I look back now, I realise its been a process... a process of learning (how to cheat light, to keep my ears open to the man behind the camera),a process of self discovery (shit this is how I sit/walk , shit this is how my hair looks, shit what are my hands doing,or cool that smile works, cool I like that improvisation, cool i like that expression), a process of trying to find comfort and ease in the situation, a process called being in the moment/acting.

I ve begun to realise that two things which drive me to work besides the fact that I want to be on the big screen. Its the simple joy of giving that good shot, its a sweet feeling which is hard to describe, you know it when it happens between 'action' and 'cut'. Getting your director's approval is an added motivation. I find that peace, calmness everytime I deliver that 'good' shot very addictive. I have started to enjoy being in that state.

Besides that, the second most important thing which makes me go do this job, is the happiness/joy which people around you, on the set transmitt. Its this positive vibe of being on a set where everyone looks forward to seeing you every morning, be it your sound recordist or the light man or the spot boy. This feeling makes you want to go out and do your best..

Its been 21 days of good work and I hope it gets better from here. Looking forward to doing even better work :-)

Day 1...h-e-d

27th March'2007... My beggining!

I finally get a sense of things to come. 2 months on to h-e-d, it's been very normal until this day! I feel the excitment, numbness and high of being on 'my' set. Cannot get bigger, when you have Kajol on the camera, santoshi on the clap, bharadwaj on the left of camera and kashyap on the right and my parents visible from the extreme corner of my right eye. It was overwhelming! The last time I had this feeling was, shit..never! Its my first and I sure this one will stay with me forever.

In between the madness of action and cut it just seemed forever. My strategy of being calm and composed seemed to elude me. Its this strange feeling where your legs dont feel strong and you want your heartbeat to slow down, but it refuses to. Luckily it did not last long and I heard the golden 'cut' and 'taaliyaan'. Wuuup..I was back...Back to being me, could feel my heartrate returning to normalcy.

Cut to Lunch and vanity- getting ready for the shot. Shot the first scene post lunch and it felt absolutely normal. Relieved at the thought that those symptoms were momentary and I could be my cool, composed self. This is the real action. Wrapped up in couple hours. A good day at office...