My initial reaction of disbelief soon turned into shock, and, in the next sixty hours it catapulted into anger, horror, pain and finally a sense of loss. A city felt lost, the innocence spent and with that, lives that had changed forever.
This is not the first time that we have witnessed terror in all its glory, there have been tragedies far worse and lesser than what happened on 26/11 but none of those, and I mean none of those, could prepare me to deal with what we were about to face in the last few days. Although, I haven’t been directly scarred by the massacre, and initially thanked the almighty for not choosing anyone I knew closely as a victim of the tragedy, only later to realise my short sightedness and folly – there were no survivors. The only difference being that some have left us forever and the rest of us continue living, leaving behind something that has died in all of us. More like trust in life itself.
Do I want to blame the system? The politicians? A neighbouring country? Or myself? Really, I don’t know. This is not about that at all; the blame game that everyone is so easily sheltering under. As I sit in my car in the garage with the keys still in the ignition, I realise I don’t know where I am headed. My mind is going through a gamut of thoughts, of emotions and the events of the last few days, replaying in my head like the recap section of a television soap though unfortunately this isn’t a soap but real life. The FM station is playing A R Rahman’s rendition of ‘Vande Mataram’ and I notice something which beats me and before anything I find my eyes moist.
I drive out of the garage into empty roads, clueless, to an unknown destination. Suddenly the empty roads take longer to cover than the usual busy days. I stop at the traffic junction almost mechanically, only to realise there is no signal to stop. I keep driving; looking outside to see any sign of normalcy, there is none. As Rahman’s song hits the crescendo note I rev up the accelerator and find myself moving along the long road. As I am going and going comes the last cry of ‘Vande Mataram’ almost melancholic and tragic and bringing with it a taste of salty fluid running down my face and my phone begins to ring all of a sudden. I hit the brakes. ‘The siege has ended,’ I am told and all I can conjure up with my choked voice is, ‘Not quite.’ because I know that the ‘siege’ within has just begun. I know life will go on. We all will go back to our jobs and get on with our respective lives, but something inside will never feel the same again. It will never be okay and funnily, I don’t want it any other way. This sense of loss felt by all of us will help us to keep a lookout for our families, our neighbours, our fellow citizens, our country and ourselves. Attitudes are changing, the fighting spirit has just got stronger and a sense of unity has brought us closer. This is not just about a terrorist attack; it is about a war which has ensued in each of our hearts and minds.
Sadly, when the system fails, the politicians disappoint us and the prayers go unanswered, and then a hero emerges from within each one of us. Let’s not allow the hero in each one of us to die this time.
‘Kandhon se milte hain kandhe, kadmo se kadam milte hain
Hum chalte hain jab aise to, Dil dushman ke hilte hain’
(These wonderful lyrics written by Javed Saab, have been in my head since I got pen to paper, just had to put them down here)
Jai Hind
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
About emotions, reactions and new learning’s…
The last few days have brought in mixed emotions, varied reactions and most importantly new learning’s. As a friend put it very interestingly, ‘If H-e-d had worked, that would have been beginners luck’. Does that lessen the disappointment? Well, it definitely lightens things up.
It can be difficult sometimes to accept things, yet again, my experience as a film going audience clearly showed me that H-e-d did not work, as early as a day after the release at some level. I think the most important lesson that I have learnt is accepting the fact gracefully and taking the positives from it and moving on. After all, as an actor you can only do your job honestly and hope and pray the rest of it falls into place.
I did go to a few theatres across the city, just to watch the film with the audience and to my surprise at most places; people walked up during the interval or post the film to tell me what they felt. I will not lie…Appreciation of your work definitely motivates and inspires you to keep doing your best. I felt at some level they felt connected enough, to walk up and share their feedback, which alone is a huge satisfaction and this love will make sure I keep giving my best to every project hereon.
Life is certainly looking up. I have been reading scripts, meeting directors and producers and finally going on a vacation. I have also resumed doing things which I couldn’t in the last few months like going to the beach for a run, working out, dancing, reading and watching films.
I will be on a plane in a few hours and I have, ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ to give me company. Hope it’s a good read! Thanks for all the feedback and keep it coming…
It can be difficult sometimes to accept things, yet again, my experience as a film going audience clearly showed me that H-e-d did not work, as early as a day after the release at some level. I think the most important lesson that I have learnt is accepting the fact gracefully and taking the positives from it and moving on. After all, as an actor you can only do your job honestly and hope and pray the rest of it falls into place.
I did go to a few theatres across the city, just to watch the film with the audience and to my surprise at most places; people walked up during the interval or post the film to tell me what they felt. I will not lie…Appreciation of your work definitely motivates and inspires you to keep doing your best. I felt at some level they felt connected enough, to walk up and share their feedback, which alone is a huge satisfaction and this love will make sure I keep giving my best to every project hereon.
Life is certainly looking up. I have been reading scripts, meeting directors and producers and finally going on a vacation. I have also resumed doing things which I couldn’t in the last few months like going to the beach for a run, working out, dancing, reading and watching films.
I will be on a plane in a few hours and I have, ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ to give me company. Hope it’s a good read! Thanks for all the feedback and keep it coming…
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My Haal-e-dil
First Film. First Love. First Blog. A common thread…a special feeling, a need to be accepted and dreams unlimited…
I have been a film going audience (‘aam-junta’) for the better part of my life and now to be on the other side of the spectrum is a feeling, which I haven’t been able to come to terms with yet. Perhaps, I still look at films as an audience. I believe, somewhere this has played a major role in helping me choose the film I am starting out with - Haal-e-dil aka (h-e-d)
A lot of people have asked me, how tough has it been to make a breakthrough when ‘star’ kids are the order of the day or you are the ‘Outsider’. Do you have any connection with Bollywood? To which, I have one reply, “My only connection to Bollywood has been that I love watching our films…” J And to be honest, in my mind I’ve never considered myself as an outsider. I feel I belong here.
My love with cinema started way before I realised I wanted to act. I recall watching Madhuri doing her finger move in ‘Tu shayar hai’ (Sajjan) with great astonishment and then I remember how I tried to imitate the move. Most male actors look upto a Bachchan or SRK or Aamir when it comes to their inspiration. In retrospect, it’s strange that Madhuri Dixit made me want to be a part of films. I hoped that I could dance as well, emote as well and have that charisma to be on screen with her.
In many ways, I feel more than me choosing to play 'Shekhar' in Haal-e-dil, the role chose me. I recall being auditioned for the main lead of h-e-d, during Diwali of 2006. An audition, which lasted over 4 hours! It was a full-blown audition in the presence of my director, writer and producer. Three months and 3000 auditions later, I was signed on to h-e-d in January ‘07. The best birthday gift I could have asked for!
What soon followed was 2 months of extensive workshops with Mr Om Katare, where Amita and I read various Hindi plays, improvised scenes, watched old films and plays. In my quest to play Shekhar in the best possible way, I took up guitar lessons and slowed down on heavy weights at the gym too at the insistence of my director Anil Devgan. He wanted my face and body language to have a certain rawness and innocence to it. But with the shooting done, I am back at the gym now though... :-)
I recollect starting h-e-d with its mahurat on the 27th of March 2007 in the presence of Kajol, Raj Kumar Santoshi, Vishal Bharadwaj and likes. It was a huge day for me, considering my dream was finally turning into reality. To my surprise, I was calm and felt at ease with the task at hand. It felt like just another day at work. I carried that comforting feeling with me during the rest of our schedules and it turned out just as easy as we had visualised it.
A year in the making and 6 schedules later (Bombay, Panchgani, Leh, Shimla, Manali, Kalka, and Switzerland) we were through with the filming of h-e-d. It felt like having lived another lifetime literally.
As the release date draws closer, June 20th, I find myself engulfed by a funny feeling, and no, I don’t feel much nervousness, although it is something I only tend to remember because I am made to do so by people around me. Yes, there is a certain element of excitement and of course, a sense of anxiousness. Anxiousness more so to know how people would accept the final product…Anxiousness to know if they would identify with the story as much as we did…And an ever growing anxiousness to know how anxious are they to watch h-e-d.
Finally, I want you all to know that this is my first step towards sharing my dreams and hopes with all of you and I honestly pray and wish and also assure you that this is just the beginning to a beautiful journey that lies ahead of us…
My debut film, ‘Haal-e-dil’ is all set to hit screens on June 20th 2008.
( My blog is now on bollywoodhungama.com)
http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/blogs/nakuulmehta/index.html
I have been a film going audience (‘aam-junta’) for the better part of my life and now to be on the other side of the spectrum is a feeling, which I haven’t been able to come to terms with yet. Perhaps, I still look at films as an audience. I believe, somewhere this has played a major role in helping me choose the film I am starting out with - Haal-e-dil aka (h-e-d)
A lot of people have asked me, how tough has it been to make a breakthrough when ‘star’ kids are the order of the day or you are the ‘Outsider’. Do you have any connection with Bollywood? To which, I have one reply, “My only connection to Bollywood has been that I love watching our films…” J And to be honest, in my mind I’ve never considered myself as an outsider. I feel I belong here.
My love with cinema started way before I realised I wanted to act. I recall watching Madhuri doing her finger move in ‘Tu shayar hai’ (Sajjan) with great astonishment and then I remember how I tried to imitate the move. Most male actors look upto a Bachchan or SRK or Aamir when it comes to their inspiration. In retrospect, it’s strange that Madhuri Dixit made me want to be a part of films. I hoped that I could dance as well, emote as well and have that charisma to be on screen with her.
In many ways, I feel more than me choosing to play 'Shekhar' in Haal-e-dil, the role chose me. I recall being auditioned for the main lead of h-e-d, during Diwali of 2006. An audition, which lasted over 4 hours! It was a full-blown audition in the presence of my director, writer and producer. Three months and 3000 auditions later, I was signed on to h-e-d in January ‘07. The best birthday gift I could have asked for!
What soon followed was 2 months of extensive workshops with Mr Om Katare, where Amita and I read various Hindi plays, improvised scenes, watched old films and plays. In my quest to play Shekhar in the best possible way, I took up guitar lessons and slowed down on heavy weights at the gym too at the insistence of my director Anil Devgan. He wanted my face and body language to have a certain rawness and innocence to it. But with the shooting done, I am back at the gym now though... :-)
I recollect starting h-e-d with its mahurat on the 27th of March 2007 in the presence of Kajol, Raj Kumar Santoshi, Vishal Bharadwaj and likes. It was a huge day for me, considering my dream was finally turning into reality. To my surprise, I was calm and felt at ease with the task at hand. It felt like just another day at work. I carried that comforting feeling with me during the rest of our schedules and it turned out just as easy as we had visualised it.
A year in the making and 6 schedules later (Bombay, Panchgani, Leh, Shimla, Manali, Kalka, and Switzerland) we were through with the filming of h-e-d. It felt like having lived another lifetime literally.
As the release date draws closer, June 20th, I find myself engulfed by a funny feeling, and no, I don’t feel much nervousness, although it is something I only tend to remember because I am made to do so by people around me. Yes, there is a certain element of excitement and of course, a sense of anxiousness. Anxiousness more so to know how people would accept the final product…Anxiousness to know if they would identify with the story as much as we did…And an ever growing anxiousness to know how anxious are they to watch h-e-d.
Finally, I want you all to know that this is my first step towards sharing my dreams and hopes with all of you and I honestly pray and wish and also assure you that this is just the beginning to a beautiful journey that lies ahead of us…
My debut film, ‘Haal-e-dil’ is all set to hit screens on June 20th 2008.
( My blog is now on bollywoodhungama.com)
http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/blogs/nakuulmehta/index.html
Saturday, March 29, 2008
2 Weeks to go...
It’s been exactly one whole year from the day I gave my first shot for h-e-d. Time flies, memories linger on...
It's been a rollercoaster ride with each day bringing new situations and experiences. Each schedule bringing with it a new vibe, new locations, new people and with it a sense of discovering a new part of me. It will not be sacrilegious of me to believe that I have been absolutely honest and sincere to my work and lived every moment on h-e-d to the fullest and that is a special feeling!
I vividly remember my first shot which comes in the early part of the movie. It felt like a continuation of something I’ve been doing. At complete ease, in character and with the right amount of energy, that I surprised myself. At the end of the day, I only hoped and prayed that I could replicate the same feeling each day I came to the set. I think I achieved it on more occasions than less.
When I look back at the different schedules on h-e-d – Kamalistan/panchgani, Leh/shimla/manali/kalka, Switzerland, Mahabaleshwar and the climax at Yashraj studios, I somehow recall my first at Kamlistan on the train set and at panchgani with great enthusiasm. These were times, when energy was at its best, when there was an effort to imbibe and learn everything and anything as each day brought new learning’s and as an actor, I enjoyed the natural earnestness and rawness which I subconsciously brought along and which eventually helped me in shaping Shekhar.
I only wish that I could continue bringing the same enthusiasm and zeal to every other movie I work in hereon because that is what makes the journey worthwhile. The journey is almost about to end now on this one and it’s about time to bring out the work in progress. The first teasers hit screens worldwide on the 11th of April’2008 with ‘You me aur Hum’ and I have no idea how that feeling will be… One year in the making, a year and 3 months since I signed on to it, a year and a half since I first auditioned for it and 24 years since I wanted it so bad.
It's been a rollercoaster ride with each day bringing new situations and experiences. Each schedule bringing with it a new vibe, new locations, new people and with it a sense of discovering a new part of me. It will not be sacrilegious of me to believe that I have been absolutely honest and sincere to my work and lived every moment on h-e-d to the fullest and that is a special feeling!
I vividly remember my first shot which comes in the early part of the movie. It felt like a continuation of something I’ve been doing. At complete ease, in character and with the right amount of energy, that I surprised myself. At the end of the day, I only hoped and prayed that I could replicate the same feeling each day I came to the set. I think I achieved it on more occasions than less.
When I look back at the different schedules on h-e-d – Kamalistan/panchgani, Leh/shimla/manali/kalka, Switzerland, Mahabaleshwar and the climax at Yashraj studios, I somehow recall my first at Kamlistan on the train set and at panchgani with great enthusiasm. These were times, when energy was at its best, when there was an effort to imbibe and learn everything and anything as each day brought new learning’s and as an actor, I enjoyed the natural earnestness and rawness which I subconsciously brought along and which eventually helped me in shaping Shekhar.
I only wish that I could continue bringing the same enthusiasm and zeal to every other movie I work in hereon because that is what makes the journey worthwhile. The journey is almost about to end now on this one and it’s about time to bring out the work in progress. The first teasers hit screens worldwide on the 11th of April’2008 with ‘You me aur Hum’ and I have no idea how that feeling will be… One year in the making, a year and 3 months since I signed on to it, a year and a half since I first auditioned for it and 24 years since I wanted it so bad.
Nasrun minallahi wal fatahun kareem
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Climaxed!!!
Leh...Manali...Shimla...Switzerland...Mahabaleshwar...Yashraj studios...Finally its over...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Farewell my friend!
“Hey nakuul. Felt really good to hear from u yaar. The battle is still ensuing in its full rage buddy but d spirit remains untouched. After all for a soldier there is no fight to d end because…There is no end to d fight. But triumph I shall no matter what it takes.” (04/10/06)
There are some bonds which cannot be explained. This is one such…
I met him three years ago and was instantly taken in with his warmth and passion for life. My first memory of him was when I fired him for not bending low enough to take that correct shot while handling the camera and asked him the reason for that. All he said was, ‘I can’t…cant,’ with an expression on his face that was a mix of pain, despair and embarrassment.
Me, being the unrelenting me, prodded him further, only to find out that this normal looking twenty year old had suffered cancer and had recently recovered and won a battle which could have cost him his leg. That was the reason he could not bend his knees and he explained this to me in a very matter-of-fact manner. I thought I did pretty well to hide my shock and disbelief at that moment but could not help but feel small for being so insensitive.
On hindsight, I feel that moment brought the two of us together in a strange way. We got talking and realised our common passion for bodybuilding, movies and books. After the shoot he sent me a copy of our music video and promised to be in touch. I remember him being very hopeful for me and wished me a great future with my acting career. It could have ended there, but he kept in touch, every once in a while, calling/texting to give his feedback on a new commercial or a video and hoping to hear about any movies on the anvil.
There are some people you just want to stay in touch with for absolutely no reason. He was one of them. I remember meeting him not more than six times in these three years, the last being when he boarded his flight to leave for New York.
The enemy had resurfaced. He called me one day and usually chatted up about ‘me’, which he always did. It was always, ‘you’ for him. In the conversation, very nonchalantly he told me about a sudden change in plans. The cancer was back and this time it had attacked the entire body. He had a battle on hands. A battle which he would fight to win! How does one respond to something like that?
We kept in touch while he battled with clinical trials in New York and I started work on my first feature. He called every once in a while to check on my progress when it should have really been the other way around. He never once mentioned the immense pain which was killing him. But that is what makes him, what he was…Optimist to the core! A fighter! A soldier! That’s what I called him always!
Our last conversation will stay with me forever. We spoke about life, rebirth and karma. Maybe he knew it was our last conversation… A week later, came the grim news. An inconsolable common friend called saying, ‘We’ve lost him. Please come see him one last time.’ Once again, I did not know how to react.
I went to see him one last time at his place. Amongst the inconsolable and extremely emotional family and friends, he lay there in the midst, looking calm, at peace and victorious. We had lost him. But he had won…
(The quote at the beginning of the piece, is an sms, he had sent me which will stay with me forever. For all the lives you’ve touched… God bless you Rajiv!)
There are some bonds which cannot be explained. This is one such…
I met him three years ago and was instantly taken in with his warmth and passion for life. My first memory of him was when I fired him for not bending low enough to take that correct shot while handling the camera and asked him the reason for that. All he said was, ‘I can’t…cant,’ with an expression on his face that was a mix of pain, despair and embarrassment.
Me, being the unrelenting me, prodded him further, only to find out that this normal looking twenty year old had suffered cancer and had recently recovered and won a battle which could have cost him his leg. That was the reason he could not bend his knees and he explained this to me in a very matter-of-fact manner. I thought I did pretty well to hide my shock and disbelief at that moment but could not help but feel small for being so insensitive.
On hindsight, I feel that moment brought the two of us together in a strange way. We got talking and realised our common passion for bodybuilding, movies and books. After the shoot he sent me a copy of our music video and promised to be in touch. I remember him being very hopeful for me and wished me a great future with my acting career. It could have ended there, but he kept in touch, every once in a while, calling/texting to give his feedback on a new commercial or a video and hoping to hear about any movies on the anvil.
There are some people you just want to stay in touch with for absolutely no reason. He was one of them. I remember meeting him not more than six times in these three years, the last being when he boarded his flight to leave for New York.
The enemy had resurfaced. He called me one day and usually chatted up about ‘me’, which he always did. It was always, ‘you’ for him. In the conversation, very nonchalantly he told me about a sudden change in plans. The cancer was back and this time it had attacked the entire body. He had a battle on hands. A battle which he would fight to win! How does one respond to something like that?
We kept in touch while he battled with clinical trials in New York and I started work on my first feature. He called every once in a while to check on my progress when it should have really been the other way around. He never once mentioned the immense pain which was killing him. But that is what makes him, what he was…Optimist to the core! A fighter! A soldier! That’s what I called him always!
Our last conversation will stay with me forever. We spoke about life, rebirth and karma. Maybe he knew it was our last conversation… A week later, came the grim news. An inconsolable common friend called saying, ‘We’ve lost him. Please come see him one last time.’ Once again, I did not know how to react.
I went to see him one last time at his place. Amongst the inconsolable and extremely emotional family and friends, he lay there in the midst, looking calm, at peace and victorious. We had lost him. But he had won…
(The quote at the beginning of the piece, is an sms, he had sent me which will stay with me forever. For all the lives you’ve touched… God bless you Rajiv!)
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Some more...
Apni manzil dhoondne nikle hain
Hazzaron armaan liye chale hain
Milne ko woh aaj hi mil jaati
Lekin is kaaynath ke apne hi kuch neeyam hain…
__________________________________
Humari gustakhi thi woh
Warna kya khuda se unka hi pataa mangte…
__________________________________
Hazzaron armaan liye chale hain
Milne ko woh aaj hi mil jaati
Lekin is kaaynath ke apne hi kuch neeyam hain…
__________________________________
Humari gustakhi thi woh
Warna kya khuda se unka hi pataa mangte…
__________________________________
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Meri Shayari -1
Dil ka haal mat poocho yaro
Yeh ek khuli kitaab hai
Darde dil phir bhi jee lete hum
Lekin haal-e-dil kaisen bayaan kar pate…
Yeh ek khuli kitaab hai
Darde dil phir bhi jee lete hum
Lekin haal-e-dil kaisen bayaan kar pate…
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A Series Won or LOST…’Chuck’ De India
The morning pictures in TOI left me with mixed emotions – pictures of the Indian cricket team celebrating after beating England in England in a test series after 21 long years.
Happy? Jubilant? Proud? What am I suppose to feel?
On the eve of India’s 60th year of Independence, the day we won against the Colonial regime, in our hearts we have again gone back 60 years and given our own countrymen a reason to believe that we are not ready yet…Not Ready to compete with the best, Not Ready to have faith in our abilities and Not Ready to back ourselves.
No country and I believe this, no country with half the talent and ability of our team would have squandered a chance to go for the kill and win a test match ‘away’ from home. To draw the match from the verge of winning it comprehensively is as good as loosing it. Infact by deciding not to ‘follow on’ the opposition, we nearly threw it away.
Strangely, I had a premonition of this, the evening before and I did tell a couple of friends that Dravid choosing to bat again is a strong option considering the result of the India-Aussie test match in Kolkatta, in which India came back from nowhere, after being made to follow on and won it. Infact both Dravid and Laxman were the backbones of that famous win. That coupled with the fact that we our not the greatest 4th innings chasers, recent case in point – the loss in West Indies when we have had a paltry 120 odd to chase.
I am sure these were the reasons and not the ‘fatigued’ bowlers as suggested. If you call bowling 55 odd overs amongst the 3 pacers a lot of work, then why play test cricket. Test, as the name suggests is meant to be a test of your physical and mental endurance over a period of 5 days. The point being, we would rather (which is the smallest of chance) risk drawing or loosing the match then having played like the cowards we did. Not really the best example to gift to your nation on the eve of it sixtieth year of Independence!
Chuck diya India!
On the eve of India’s 60th year of Independence, the day we won against the Colonial regime, in our hearts we have again gone back 60 years and given our own countrymen a reason to believe that we are not ready yet…Not Ready to compete with the best, Not Ready to have faith in our abilities and Not Ready to back ourselves.
No country and I believe this, no country with half the talent and ability of our team would have squandered a chance to go for the kill and win a test match ‘away’ from home. To draw the match from the verge of winning it comprehensively is as good as loosing it. Infact by deciding not to ‘follow on’ the opposition, we nearly threw it away.
Strangely, I had a premonition of this, the evening before and I did tell a couple of friends that Dravid choosing to bat again is a strong option considering the result of the India-Aussie test match in Kolkatta, in which India came back from nowhere, after being made to follow on and won it. Infact both Dravid and Laxman were the backbones of that famous win. That coupled with the fact that we our not the greatest 4th innings chasers, recent case in point – the loss in West Indies when we have had a paltry 120 odd to chase.
I am sure these were the reasons and not the ‘fatigued’ bowlers as suggested. If you call bowling 55 odd overs amongst the 3 pacers a lot of work, then why play test cricket. Test, as the name suggests is meant to be a test of your physical and mental endurance over a period of 5 days. The point being, we would rather (which is the smallest of chance) risk drawing or loosing the match then having played like the cowards we did. Not really the best example to gift to your nation on the eve of it sixtieth year of Independence!
Chuck diya India!
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Annonymous is not fun!
And i thought only I read my blogs..actually even I don't! But it would be really good to have you leave your name on the COMMENTS SECTION and not sign as annonymous. It just makes for easy correspondance!
Happy ID 60...
Chak De India!
Nemo - if its you..dude, i expect a 'Me' on there.. but funnily i think it's you cause only you and me are on it..haha..
Monday, August 13, 2007
Chak again...
I had to do this...Saw my second show of Chak. Only twice have I seen two shows of a movie in the theatres (KalHoNaHo was the first), but never before two shows in the first weekend of its release. Chak in the stalls at Chandan is an absolute must-see. Its an experience! Every dialogue is met with applause and every goal with loud whistling and cheering.
Phenomenal! I might do a 3rd time on this one...
Phenomenal! I might do a 3rd time on this one...
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Mujhe 'ChakDe' de de de...
Every once in a while comes a movie which makes you sit up and take notice. ChakDe is hardly that!
You just don't sit up and notice, but rise and applaud to the 'Team ChakDe'.
CD is easily my most favourite film of the year and the best I ve seen after Rang De and Lage raho. Uncanny nah! Rang De...Chak De.. Hoping that with Haal-e-De (purposely forgetting the 'L' in the end), I can safely complete the trilogy of my favourite films and films which audiences will love. (fingers crossed) :-)
Where do I start...Never before have I seen a script and screenplay in hindi movies which is made to order with all the ingriedients which contribute to a full on, masala, commercial yet emotional, heart wrenching and inspiring tale, coming together and gelling so perfectly well. Take a bow Mr. Jaideep Sahni (writer)! The funny thing is that it is as predictable as any underdog story which you have seen yet so finely executed/written/acted that you sit up and cheer for every goal when Team India slugs it out with the aussies.
Shahrukh as the disgruntled coach of the Women's hockey team has made Kabir Khan come alive and how! The scene where he says,' Hockey mein chakkey nahin hote' or 'Is team mein ek hi gunda hota aur woh main hoon' or the time he makes his 'sattar minute' speech and the best of all, his expression and body language when we save the final penaly shoot out goal! Dude, I owe you one! You Inspire! ( I am being dramatically understated)
But to be honest the real heroes of CD are the director - Shimit Amin and the superbly casted 16 girls, who come from nowhere and remain with you at the end of the movie. Just like the gang of RangDe. A special mention to the actors who played Bindiya Nayak and Chowtala. superlative! and cannot not mention Preeti Sabbarwal...Gosh! ;-)
ChakDe...Makes you want to go the movies again. Makes you want to make great movies...movies which make you happy, movies which make you cry, movies which make you think and most importantly movies which entertain. And above all movies which make you want to live an 'inspired life'.
Oye Chak De!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Leh,mumbai,manali,kalka,shimla...Back
That's a lot of travelling in a month, which is one of the perks of my job. Don't I completely love it... 3 weeks in Leh has been the most amazing time i've spent close to nature and to think of it I am a complete city person.
The first thing which struck me about Leh was its abundant natural beauty. Imagine watching snow clad mountains covered in fog from your bathroom window while having a shower every morning or driving to bazgo village everyday (my set) through a narrow road in between the huge mountains or through the Indus and Zanskar river beds or passing the huge army cantonment at nimoo village which looked straight out of a war movie. It is unreal!
The next thing which comes as a great suprise is the local people. They are by far the sweetest and most helpful people i've met in a long time. So untouched by commercialism and so very naive for their own good. Michael, Jimmy, Anees, Saleem, the entire staff at Rafica, the monks at Spituk, the people at the bazaar,the kids at bazgo, the old man at the army store.
But most importantly, Leh will be a place where I shot nearly the entire 2 half of h-e-d. A time when i got closer to my unit, learnt a great deal, worked with some good techicians (Raju Khan, Rajiv), did some good work and had a very smooth and good working equation with everyone on set.
Coming back to Mumbai for a couple of days was probably not the greatest idea as I fell terriblly sick and carried that to Manali, Kalka and Shimla. Shot only for half a day at the Kalka station and all I rememeber of Manali and Shimla is the time i spent sleeping in my hotel and maybe the one odd time i got out to visit the Mal road or catch 'Partner' at Ravoli in Shimla. Shimla i found to be the most commercial and unplanned hill station. It has hotels all around and is quite ugly. Maybe we were destined not to climax there (shoot our climax scene) and that is something we have carried forth from our long sched.
Its been couple of days that i've been back and gosh, I feel I deserve a vacation already. Till we climax!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Ladakh Calling
Its my second day in Leh. God! This place is beautiful! Landed at the Leh airport on the 21st morning at 7 am and gosh I woke up just before landing to witness what easily is a nature at its best. The airstrip is surrounded by beautiful mountains, someof which are snowclad. I hav'nt been to a place with temperatures below 10 degress in some time now and it felt good.
The airport though is quite a small tin shed, slightly bigger than the airport at Port Blair (of what i remember since my time in A&N islands in '92). Got to Hotel Rafica, that's where I am put up by 7:30 ish and instantly i felt slight breathlessness which I was prepared for. Though headache is not something I anticipated. Its the second day, yet this uneasiness and heaviness of the head has not left me. The first day was spent entirely in my room, slept a lot, saw a bit of 'Pursuit' (I can watch this movie again and again). Ate light and drank tons of water. It's a must to survive your days in Ladakh with comfort.
Today, I finally got out of my hotel, went to the local market, did some shopping, people are sweet and speak good hindi. Met a man named Michael, who happens to be my taxi driver and guide on demand (his demand) ;-). He is amazing. Pretty much knows everyone around, got me into the Leh Palace after its closing hours and shared great anecdotes. I like him already. Have shot some great footage. Looking forward to viewing it when back.
Shopping is not bad actually. A lot of Thai-bangkok stuff and some tibetian jewllery which is quite fascinating.
Can't wait to get on floors. Looking to start shooting by the 25th, that is 3 more day. I think we are headed for something special, can just feel it! Looking forward to a memorable shoot which will make Leh all the more special...
The airport though is quite a small tin shed, slightly bigger than the airport at Port Blair (of what i remember since my time in A&N islands in '92). Got to Hotel Rafica, that's where I am put up by 7:30 ish and instantly i felt slight breathlessness which I was prepared for. Though headache is not something I anticipated. Its the second day, yet this uneasiness and heaviness of the head has not left me. The first day was spent entirely in my room, slept a lot, saw a bit of 'Pursuit' (I can watch this movie again and again). Ate light and drank tons of water. It's a must to survive your days in Ladakh with comfort.
Today, I finally got out of my hotel, went to the local market, did some shopping, people are sweet and speak good hindi. Met a man named Michael, who happens to be my taxi driver and guide on demand (his demand) ;-). He is amazing. Pretty much knows everyone around, got me into the Leh Palace after its closing hours and shared great anecdotes. I like him already. Have shot some great footage. Looking forward to viewing it when back.
Shopping is not bad actually. A lot of Thai-bangkok stuff and some tibetian jewllery which is quite fascinating.
Can't wait to get on floors. Looking to start shooting by the 25th, that is 3 more day. I think we are headed for something special, can just feel it! Looking forward to a memorable shoot which will make Leh all the more special...
JULLEY! (Namaste in Ladakhi)
Monday, June 11, 2007
Ramblings of an abstract mind...
I remember reading this not too long ago, 'where you'l be five years from now will depend on two things... The people you associate with and the books you read'.
Infact I have a corrollary to that. The people you 'associate with', will to a big extent be determined by the kind of books you like/patronise, because books give you thoughts/ideas/dreams, thoughts/ideas/dreams make us cultivate habits and habits become the choices we make as people and that in turn affects our decision of welcoming people in our lives.
In the alternative, the people we associate with influence us in our choices, thoughts and our growth, which in turn determines the books we read. Get it!
I have always wondered, how do you classify people you meet in your life. Its very easy to be generic and call them 'friends' but is that really what they are.
I believe you meet tons of people in day to day life.
- Some faces stay with you and you might just acknowledge them with a smile or a tilt of the head.
- Some faces you recall but cannot place them, so you let them pass (but they ring a bell in your head, maynot be strong enough)
- Some faces which for no strong reason you do not particularly like and choose to ignore. (But even in that ignornace is the awareness of their existance)
- Some faces which you end up exchanging pleasantries with and it continues but with no real motivation or inclination of getting to know them better.
- Some faces you strike a conversation with and realise that they are potentially people you would like to be in touch with. May or maynot materialise.
- Some faces who you want to be in touch with but may not reciprocate and hence, you loose a potential friend.
- Some faces who just come by in your life and grow on you, leading to friendship.
- Some faces, which the moment you see you know that there is a vibe/connect and you go on to be great friends.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, lot many permutations & combinations are possible. But coming back to the core of the issue. How does one decide on who really is a 'friend'?
Friends are people you need to invest time, energy and emotions on. Three very rare and draining resources. Everyone in their heads have a sort of a flowchart or graphic illustration or so I think, about their relations with people.
I operate in a circular fashion. Wherein there is Core, the Auxillary and the Perepherial circle. Its more of a mental note and basically helps you put your priorities in perspective. Its extremely important to know who your CORE is... Though the 'CORE' and 'AUXILLARY' have a semi permiable membrane wherein there is not a major difference and both really could be classified as 'friends', yet very few people form the 'core'.
Perepherial are the people who do not feature in the Core or the Auxillary but are people who form a part of your outer circle, yet are connected to you at some level. So are they friends? Again, some of them could be 'potential' friends or people you are friendly with but majority is what you call 'acquaintances'. Now acquaintances is not really a poor cousin of being a friend but it really is not a 'Friend'.
But what the hell, you would only be richer by acquiring people in either of the three circles.
As a great man once said, 'There is nothing in this world more valuable than friendship. Those who banish it from their lives remove as it were the sun from the earth, because of all of nature's gifts, its is the most beautiful and most pleasing.'
Monday, May 7, 2007
Predictions can go wrong..sometimes completely
Ok. I had predicted that the Kangaroos are not going to win the 'cup'.I also predicted that India and WI will make the cut for the semi's. But my strong feeling that SL will be special this world cup, did come right, only if they had another opposition in the finals!
When the Pepsi's and Coke's of the world can go wrong by betting millions on the Indian cricket team, I am only an ardent fan of the game, NO nostradamus.
But what really got me thinking was the way the aussies play this sport. Undoubtedly they are a very talented unit, but what makes them an absolutely non-chancey/fierce/dominating to the extent of burying the opposition is their 'extreme self belief' and their 'attitude' which can be extemely humbling for any opposition. Their body language on field refects their respect for the opposition which could range from absolute disdain to mockery. You can see in a Hayden's or Symond's eye's, what they feel about the opposition bowlers.
Not probably the best ambassadors for the sport but maybe this is where modern day cricket is heading. It sort of reminds me of how the astro-turfs and the super quick european/australian hockey player's changed the face of modern day hockey, leaving 'us' miles behind. I only hope this will not be the fate of Indian cricket in time to come.
What we can definately learn from the aussie's is their superb homework, great self belief and killer instinct. This does not mean we need to ape what has worked for them cause then we'l only be following them and Australia being the great side it is, will by then have moved on to setting newer benchmarks/strategies and leaving the rest of the teams with a lot of catching up to do..
Personally I love the aussies for what they stand for on a cricket field. It's a battle out there and they have the belief to win every time!
When the Pepsi's and Coke's of the world can go wrong by betting millions on the Indian cricket team, I am only an ardent fan of the game, NO nostradamus.
But what really got me thinking was the way the aussies play this sport. Undoubtedly they are a very talented unit, but what makes them an absolutely non-chancey/fierce/dominating to the extent of burying the opposition is their 'extreme self belief' and their 'attitude' which can be extemely humbling for any opposition. Their body language on field refects their respect for the opposition which could range from absolute disdain to mockery. You can see in a Hayden's or Symond's eye's, what they feel about the opposition bowlers.
Not probably the best ambassadors for the sport but maybe this is where modern day cricket is heading. It sort of reminds me of how the astro-turfs and the super quick european/australian hockey player's changed the face of modern day hockey, leaving 'us' miles behind. I only hope this will not be the fate of Indian cricket in time to come.
What we can definately learn from the aussie's is their superb homework, great self belief and killer instinct. This does not mean we need to ape what has worked for them cause then we'l only be following them and Australia being the great side it is, will by then have moved on to setting newer benchmarks/strategies and leaving the rest of the teams with a lot of catching up to do..
Personally I love the aussies for what they stand for on a cricket field. It's a battle out there and they have the belief to win every time!
Saturday, May 5, 2007
1st sched.. It's a wrap...
30th April'07 is a day I'll remember as the the day I wrapped up my first schedule, which also means that the work i've done in the past month has been saved and printed and I c'nt go back and change anything, which can be a scary thought.
It has been a 21 day sched spanning the entire month of april, starting with the muharat on the 27th of March'07.
How do I feel... exicted/dissapointed/satisfied/.. Its tough to put an exact feeling to the entire experience. When I look back now, I realise its been a process... a process of learning (how to cheat light, to keep my ears open to the man behind the camera),a process of self discovery (shit this is how I sit/walk , shit this is how my hair looks, shit what are my hands doing,or cool that smile works, cool I like that improvisation, cool i like that expression), a process of trying to find comfort and ease in the situation, a process called being in the moment/acting.
I ve begun to realise that two things which drive me to work besides the fact that I want to be on the big screen. Its the simple joy of giving that good shot, its a sweet feeling which is hard to describe, you know it when it happens between 'action' and 'cut'. Getting your director's approval is an added motivation. I find that peace, calmness everytime I deliver that 'good' shot very addictive. I have started to enjoy being in that state.
Besides that, the second most important thing which makes me go do this job, is the happiness/joy which people around you, on the set transmitt. Its this positive vibe of being on a set where everyone looks forward to seeing you every morning, be it your sound recordist or the light man or the spot boy. This feeling makes you want to go out and do your best..
Its been 21 days of good work and I hope it gets better from here. Looking forward to doing even better work :-)
It has been a 21 day sched spanning the entire month of april, starting with the muharat on the 27th of March'07.
How do I feel... exicted/dissapointed/satisfied/.. Its tough to put an exact feeling to the entire experience. When I look back now, I realise its been a process... a process of learning (how to cheat light, to keep my ears open to the man behind the camera),a process of self discovery (shit this is how I sit/walk , shit this is how my hair looks, shit what are my hands doing,or cool that smile works, cool I like that improvisation, cool i like that expression), a process of trying to find comfort and ease in the situation, a process called being in the moment/acting.
I ve begun to realise that two things which drive me to work besides the fact that I want to be on the big screen. Its the simple joy of giving that good shot, its a sweet feeling which is hard to describe, you know it when it happens between 'action' and 'cut'. Getting your director's approval is an added motivation. I find that peace, calmness everytime I deliver that 'good' shot very addictive. I have started to enjoy being in that state.
Besides that, the second most important thing which makes me go do this job, is the happiness/joy which people around you, on the set transmitt. Its this positive vibe of being on a set where everyone looks forward to seeing you every morning, be it your sound recordist or the light man or the spot boy. This feeling makes you want to go out and do your best..
Its been 21 days of good work and I hope it gets better from here. Looking forward to doing even better work :-)
Monday, April 23, 2007
In studios... h-e-d..oye-hoye
The best part about shooting in your own city is that you come back home, to ma's dinner and your own bed. (no pun intended) I hate watching tv aimlessly in a hotel room till your eyes are ready to shut, which I end up doing most of the times. So its indeed, very refreshing to be back in Bombay.
I like the set, very close to the real thing, designed by LC. Day 1 on studios, we spent shooting a scene. I thought it went smooth, I liked a couple of improvisations which I did. I try and avoid thinking of how it went or was it very funny, because it's very easy to fall in this trap of liking what you are doing and thinking that is the correct path but in actuality the audience is not going to go by that one joke/nuance, it has to work in the entirety for them to like it and you cannot predict that (unless you have been around and worked for a while). I've decided to do it with my best abilty and honesty at that very moment and forget about it.
Day 2, we started working on our first song shoot, which might be my first song in the film. Again, it very easy to like your own song, but that is because you connect with it instantly and see yourself in it. But a viewer does not feel the same attachment for a movie song at the first instant. A lot of film songs, that i did not think much of, watching them for the first time and subsequently really liked them once i saw them as a part of the entire movie. In that sense, I am happy that this song has been growing on me and the entire unit every time it's played. When the light men, the spot boy's start humming it, it is probably an indication of good song.
Coming back to the first day of picturisation, it's not a day i would like to remember very fondly. I guess, I just was'nt in form. It's like when you batting, you hit the ball but it does not come from the middle of the bat, you dn't hear the sweet spot on your bat. We packed up early and I went for my reharsals. Did not get much sleep that night. Nervous/anxious to start my next day. I have to add that GA has been very patient, motivating and has some real cool choreograpghy worked out. Made a nervous start next day, but quickly got back to form. Worked till 10 pm and I am satisfied, if not thrilled with the day's work. The more I shoot, the more I realise it's all a game of self belief and how well you can translate that to the camera.
Today is a 'chutti', much needed. C'nt wait to head to the studios tommorow and kickass!
I like the set, very close to the real thing, designed by LC. Day 1 on studios, we spent shooting a scene. I thought it went smooth, I liked a couple of improvisations which I did. I try and avoid thinking of how it went or was it very funny, because it's very easy to fall in this trap of liking what you are doing and thinking that is the correct path but in actuality the audience is not going to go by that one joke/nuance, it has to work in the entirety for them to like it and you cannot predict that (unless you have been around and worked for a while). I've decided to do it with my best abilty and honesty at that very moment and forget about it.
Day 2, we started working on our first song shoot, which might be my first song in the film. Again, it very easy to like your own song, but that is because you connect with it instantly and see yourself in it. But a viewer does not feel the same attachment for a movie song at the first instant. A lot of film songs, that i did not think much of, watching them for the first time and subsequently really liked them once i saw them as a part of the entire movie. In that sense, I am happy that this song has been growing on me and the entire unit every time it's played. When the light men, the spot boy's start humming it, it is probably an indication of good song.
Coming back to the first day of picturisation, it's not a day i would like to remember very fondly. I guess, I just was'nt in form. It's like when you batting, you hit the ball but it does not come from the middle of the bat, you dn't hear the sweet spot on your bat. We packed up early and I went for my reharsals. Did not get much sleep that night. Nervous/anxious to start my next day. I have to add that GA has been very patient, motivating and has some real cool choreograpghy worked out. Made a nervous start next day, but quickly got back to form. Worked till 10 pm and I am satisfied, if not thrilled with the day's work. The more I shoot, the more I realise it's all a game of self belief and how well you can translate that to the camera.
Today is a 'chutti', much needed. C'nt wait to head to the studios tommorow and kickass!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Day 2,3,4,5,6,7,8... h-e-d (Apr 10-17)
The look...its taken forever.. Finally got some clarity on the costume late evening on the 8th, i.e. just a few hours before I left for Panchgani. Well, the costume actually deserves a seperate blog space just for the amount of time and patience it took to sort of put together what Shekhar would wear.
Well, we sort of have it now. Anil and shivani in consulation with the entire team of ADs, director, cinematographer and moi worked over time to okay the look. I think its the best we h've got after brainstorming and rejecting tons of ideas and colours. I like it!
First day - first schedule - first movie! Tensed, hell no! 'Anxious', I think would be an appropriate word! I guess it's normal to feel that way. M.T. (love the energy of the man) shared his experience and felt the same at the start of every film. I conclude it's a good feeling. First day in the jungle was probably the most tiring day of the sced. Shot in the jungles of mahabaleshwar for 3 days before we went to Wai and Satara.
Food on set has been great. Satisfied with the routine i've made for myself. shoot, some work out, some dinner, some tv,sleep. It's been consistent. Lessons learnt... need to be consistent all the time, every time, every take! Its tough but that's what great actors do effortlessly. Second, no effort! Third, again which M.T. shared, to be shamless and fearless..
The ride has just begun!
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